Things I’m not sorry for

I’m not sorry for seeking solution, no matter how unrealistic it might appear instead of  holding on, and bouncing around in problems, for I know that only leads to more problems.

Disregarding what’s happened -what I or you might have done- and try for the best from now on. After all, if something is past it should no longer exist; otherwise it wouldn’t be past.

Speaking my truth, no matter what others might think of it. And why would anyone wish to talk to me if they thought I was hiding or lying?

Minding my own business, instead of sticking my nose in yours without your consent.

Being able for joy in dark times, for dark reactions bring darker times.

Aiming as high as infinity for myself and others, as I don’t think one’s ascension should mean another’s descendance.


The right you need to know about

Freedom is not a right to be claimed, is it something one (spirit, not human) inherently is. To say that one is free is not entirely correct. It would be more correct to say that one is freedom.

Out of freedom anything may occur; and similarly nothing has to occur and the determining what to be could be called ‘will’.

However, freedom is not being one. There are others that are equally freedom, and that’s the only thing we’re the same in.

For that reason one is not allowed (it is not consistent) to make another un-free and in doing so he only tries to nullify his own freedom; which is impossible, but out of freedom the concept and conviction of un-freedom may exist as well.

Whenever there is a ‘versus’ condition one tries to reduce the other’s freedom, which is impossible. And if one had that against another that other could realize there is no need to beat a dying horse. If a man, country or other entity fought by itself, that entity would be reducing it’s own freedom even until it eventually just nullified itself if others didn’t join in that game.

Each one is freedom and the mere being that and not becoming something else is how to be free.

Something great happened to me today; it was

something I did myself.

I understand many would expect to write what about another had done to me which was great. But as time passes an old say become more and more obvious to me –that things don’t just happen to me; and that means both good and bad things.

It’s all too easy to do, and may as well be too hard to tolerate to have things done on an automatic. You know, go to work, say some usual, typical words you’re supposed to say, argue with logic online and so on. I mean it does take some effort to be logical, but not that much, if you’re used to it. What’s extraordinary is to break a mold, and that’s never occurred to me by expecting from things to happen. To break a mold I always needed to thoroughly say ‘no’, to neglect, to ignore, to not-create any logic. Because logic is a time sequence. And in logic time starts from a past and it continues on and on and on until God knows when; it may as well never end.

For example myself and another person had a years-long history of arguing. And the more I ‘got into’ that, the more I had to say about that arguing, and the more our connection deteriorated to the point it was becoming unbearable. So I just said no to that. In fact, I could had just not even thought about arguing at all. The bait of winning an argument was strong. But the reason why I connected to that person wasn’t to win arguments, and I knew that. So instead of arguments I wrote all the reasons why I was connected. I was very honest and yet also gentle, and it was a huge change.

I think it’s quite an ability to be able to bring about good change among great turmoil, and it may also be quite a challenge to deal with such chaos. And Unfortunately, I’ve put myself into that challenge too many times, and I haven’t always ‘won’. But I re-discovered something today; to bring actual change, really different change, you need to start from zero, not from the past and you need to do it yourself, and not expect it, because it doesn’t ‘just happen’.

Am I saying there is no good luck, good karma, miracles, fairies, magic, and good people that create good things into your life? No, I’m saying you need to make that happen too.

The problem with words

Words are like empty bubbles. They mean nothing by themselves. They are either sounds we make and hear through speech or shapes that we interpret; and to interpret means to add meaning unto something.

The sender of words adds meaning to the words he sends, and the receiver then adds his own meaning. If they both ad -more or less- the same meaning they may -more or less- understand each other. And that can be done by using the same dictionary definition of the used word. The fact that definitions may vary make that task harder than it could be.

Perfect understanding is impossible through words. If I wrote ‘dog’ thinking of some particular dog, the reader wouldn’t necessarily understand the same ‘dog’ I was thinking of.

Words always represent something -more or less- vague and never anything particular. Even if I referred to a dog that you knew about too, you still wouldn’t think of the exact same thing I was thinking by saying ‘dog’; for my thoughts are my own, and unless you knew those (my) exact thoughts, you also wouldn’t know the exact thoughts I had added to the word ‘dog’. You would only know your own thoughts and you could also make the mistake to think that you knew my own.

Words have no power, nor any other meaning of their own. If I called another a <bad word> he would then have to add a bad meaning unto that word, so he could feel bad about it too.

With words, and assuming one is honest, one always attempts to project one’s own truth, and never ‘the truth’. Like I wrote before both the sender as well as the receiver add their own meaning to sent and received words. There can be no words that represent any objective truth. But truth may only be known by and for oneself.

Spoken words are superior to written words in terms of understanding, for through speech we may also project an appropriate emotion that -if honest- contributes to more understanding. That may also be a reason why the social media can more easily evolve into ‘fight clubs’. People have a harder time understanding each other through text alone. It would be completely different to jokingly say ‘oh shut up’ than to say it with anger. And it would be completely different to ironically say ‘you’re beautiful’ than to say it with admiration. Text leaves much more room for assumptions to be made, particularly if the sender is -more or less- unknown.

Words are not the only means of communication, that is to say they are not the only means of making one’s thoughts, oneself known by another. One’s thoughts CAN be known to another, but not adequately through words alone.

about that book

I’m very glad to say I’ve started writing that book. In case you’re an old follower you may remember that I had said a long time ago that I would.

I was having problems going about it, and going about other things. And I didn’t want to transfer those problems to the book. I wanted to solve them first.

Now I’m 201% freer than before (approximately). And so I must also say I am weirder than before. Because my own version of freedom is my own and perhaps it is not another’s.

I wish to make it very enjoyable, and that means I ought to enjoy the process of writing it myself, first. I didn’t want to struggle with it. I wanted it to be as free as I used to be many years ago when I used to paint and I suddenly stopped. A disaster had occurred to me back then and on the same time I could no longer feel pleasure in art. Well, that’s past.

It’s going to be spooky, dark, light, beautiful, terrible. It’s actually a story, not the manual I had in mind. This is not the right time for a manual. But some things I would put in that manual will be in the story as well.

If you like fantasy, abstract art, being incorrect, this could be your thing as much as it is mine.

Me and home

From an existence of affluence, of bright colors and feelings. I was dropped down to an empty existence somehow.

It was the most terrible thing that had ever happened to me, I thought. But that came after more terrible things had occurred, only I could no longer remember.

I only thought of emptiness and so I seeked to fill it with something.

I found this… I found drama, an interplay of light a darkness, colors and dullness. It was better than what I had –nothing. So I took it. And here I am now.

Although I can’t say I’ve tried it all, I can’t complain. I’ve had various experiences. I only avoided some that I thought would hinder me from having more.

But I can remember and I want to go home.

Fake hierarchies

You might have noticed how I bash at things like ‘authority’ at times. There is -however- a difference between myself and someone who resists control in that I don’t believe that control that is not actual exists.

What is the difference between actual control and fake control? The difference lies in words in contrast to actuality.

Some assert ‘the universe’ is a sort of a machine that has made itself out of nothing. That is a killer of logic, as in logic a cause brings about an effect. Moreover, that assertion has never been reproduced by science. Nothing has ever been created out of nothing in science that I know of. And before you say ‘dark matter’, that is ‘something’ too.

Generally speaking I don’t think repeating what ‘science’ says is scientific. Science has traditionaly certain modes of operation, and we cannot change them now to our comfort and call them science. We could call them something else.

Why am I bringing this up? For an effect to exist a cause must make it exist, and that is the only true hierarchy you will ever get, despite assertations that suggest otherwise. If you move a rock the rock is moved, if you fight a bear the bear if fought, if you cook food the food is cooked –cause and effect. But if I called myself a ‘king’ I wouldn’t be a king unless I ruled everybody else, so my words alone wouldn’t matter at all. Asserting that something causes a thing means nothing, it is just an assertation. And it is a common lie pounded too often. But why? Because if you believe it, it can have an effect unto you. For example, if you think I can control you, you may then agree to allow me to control you. But you’d need to agree. And agreeing over lies can be very common.

Beings cannot be controlled. They can agree to be controlled. If somebody threatened you with force and you -out of fear- agreed to do what he wanted, you would be agreeing to do that. Moreover, while you agreed you would still be the one controlling yourself, even out of fear and you would also be the one inflicting fear unto yourself so you can be controlled.

Similarly, hierarchies cannot exist unless we bring them about, for one reason or another, in one way or another. But they are not fixed, they only exist for as long as we create them.

Happy New Year & Spend a Lot

Spending has been demonized and been compared to greed, whilst it is quite the opposite. Spending is offering, and getting something back is receiving. And in a fair trade, exchange one should get what he receives.

So, why the hell am I saying that all of a sudden, did I suddenly decide to promote consumerism? Not at all, for the market is -in my opinion and at large- quite emetic with all that ‘free stuff’. Nobody really gives any ‘free stuff’. Google that provides a great service for free, is also ultra rich. How come? Yes, it’s advertisements. That’s the free stuff I’m talking about. They offer something, and they take something back. And that isn’t free at all, and it shouldn’t be called that. Not only they made good $, but they also now most internet traffic and commerce. Make up your mind, there is no ‘free stuff’.

A hook is an object you send out and then you pull back and it has something hooked on it. That’s your ‘free stuff’. And I’m not saying all sorts and of give and takes are like that. But they’re so much in fashion. And if one is not honest that he offers something and expects something back, be sure he will try to take it without your being aware of it, only because you will wish to offer something back, even if you don’t tell yourself so.

There can be other ways. There can be an outright honest give and take. You state what you give and you also state what you want back. Nobody likes to love and to not be loved back or to be hated, and it works the same way with all other exchanges. And although there may be generous folks that openly offer (good) things to others, there aren’t many others who can appreciate it and even voluntarily offer something back too, because they are used to that system with the ‘free stuff’. They consider what is free is for fools, that it is a hook, and they may even attack in return.

So how does that fit in those spiritual, metaphysical, philosophical topics I usually tackle with? Exchanging goes beyond trading with money and that sort of stuff, starting with yourself. Actually, starting with MY self. I realized all the happiness and love I had ever felt was actually happiness and love that was being put there by me. Also, the more I expected to get good stuff from others than myself the less I did. I was just being too passive to get any at times. And when you do get some like that, it’s most often not that genuine and you know it. And the worst thing you can do about it is to complain, and the best thing to do is to offer.

So my tip for the new year is to spend a lot of what you wish to receive, and to not expect to receive without getting hooked to those who wish to receive, and to offer to those who can receive and appreciate. And if what you offer is not cheap, don’t advertise it as such.

Have a great year

Financial shuffling means poverty

Both socialists and capitalists have been partially correct and wrong, in my opinion, even though their parts might have not be equal. You may wish to murder me for saying so, or something. But of the matter is both have performed shuffling of money, and both have accused each other of the same thing.

Financial reshuffling is the banker’s favorite game. It’s how they get rich. Buy low, sell high. Lift something up then dump it –pretty much like some operation with relationships. Or take work equal to 10$ and pay 2$, or tax everyone 10$ and provide them with services worthy of 2$, take much give little.

That is betrayal, and the rhetoric that backs financial reshuffling back are treacherous, lies.

We can wake up to this fact and realize that screeching, demanding to get treated well is no reason for anyone get treated well. One should at least -to be fair- treat another just as well if he wants that.


Everyone seeks equality in communicating. If what one has inside another gets inside even momentarily, they have the same; and that is understanding.

It only becomes complex, difficult when somebody lies or hides.

There is no objective equality to be had. It is an exchange between persons, and it depends on which persons communicate. And that way one can pull another up or down. That is why communication should be voluntary.