For the longest part of my life I had been involved in trying to figure out or discover reasons why and how I was being , feeling or doing things that seemed to be beyond my control.
I had heard of and read a number of theories, and I had used some with some success, but for the most part, the more I was engaged into that, the worse off it became, and the further away I was from discovering what it was.
A few years ago I changed strategy, due to some good instructions I took, and I did discover, see for myself what that secret was, and how it influenced me, and maybe it would help to share it with you. There was no secret, and nothing influenced me. I with my own thinking, searching, digging, wondering, pressing buttons in my mind was having all those things happen to me. And to be more accurate, those things didn’t even happen to me, they happened to my body and mind that I was thinking that I was being. But as a spirit, I was always in full control of myself, and I had always been. And 99.999% of the thoughts that I was having, were not mine at all. I used them alright, but I wasn’t their original source, in present time. It was like I was having a computer filled with orderly or disordely data, and I pressed a button, and things -that I called my own- came out. Yet I was always able to make my own data, and I just didn’t.
It doesn’t matter what happened 20 years ago, how I was raised, what goes on to the world. I have always been the same.
I am blank, empty, nothing, and I have no thoghts to perceive, unless I willingly create something for myself to perceive. Nothing ever creates those for me, although I could perceive another’s thoughts, as part of communicating with him. But then I’d know those thoughts aren’t mine. Only if I took another’s point of view (such as my body’s), could I have things seemingly out of my control to be perceived by myself.
And to try to discover a secret that does not exist can be an endless search. There isn’t any. And certainly there isn’t anything that stems from the past, either. I have no past, unless I make some, in present. All I could perceive exists now, or it doesn’t exist at all.
Mystery can be attractive –a promise that something lies beyond it, and that you cannot know it. But it’s a false promise. Nothing is there. The mystery is mystery itself. If you try to find out what lies behind it, you can put some things to find out. But if you just perceive it for what it is, instead of trying to find out, figure out, wonder, resist etc what’s behind it, it disappears.