There can be conditions that might be worth mentioning wherein one person attempts to reduce another.
This could be done by very obvious means or by concealed means.
It’s been of value to me to recognize that, and not believe in words.
Some have a tendency to do unto others what they do unto themselves. An unfree person, wouldn’t be one that would grant others their freedom. A person that’s subjected to and been molded by force, might be forceful to others, or would try to nullify other’s capacity to use force, or rather both. A very convinced person would try hard to convince others. A person who is not true to his own viewpoint, will try to bring about the same condition to others.
You would expect that somebody who is high in status and uses it to dominate others is some ‘powerful’ person. But I’m asking you, why would a powerful person need something like status to be powerful? It is the opposite. And opposite are often the ideas we get about power, love, beauty and other qualities.
When you see somebody obsessively pointing the finger blaming others about things, it is himself he blames them about. The same applies to conditions wherein one by ‘friendly’ means, sneakily -and often with a smile- tries to reduce others, ‘for their own good’. Friendly jokes like ‘you look like %@% today’ are often not that well-intended. And the same guy would ironically point out that you look too good -implying there is such a thing as ‘too good’ that you shouldn’t look like- in other circumptstances, to sneakily push you to not look good.
Don’t confuse this with disagreeing with somebody. Of course each one can disagree, and express it. What I’m talking about is not allowing others be themselves and have their own viewpoint. One who would do that, would not be himself to the same degree he’d try to have others not be themselves.
Unfortunately, those with the highest capacity for self-critical thinking, and some sense of responsibility, are the ones who do this the least, to others. They tend to believe what they are told, and seek to find and correct fault inside them. While those others who always point out the fault, are being what they point out, themselves. Those are the always-right guys. They couldn’t possible face themselves, and so they couldn’t tolerate any backchatting, either. And if they were forced to, it would be like talking to a wall. They would just wouldn’t dare to look inside them.
And those who preach ‘how to ruin your relationship in 10 days’ in some fancy magazines, play the same sick game. They surely know how to ruin a relationship, and they know what’s wrong with ‘women’ when they talk to men, and what’s wrong with ‘men’ when they talk to women; but they couldn’t have any truly good relationship, themselves. At best, they would make one, just to show that they can, or to leech somebody’s money and fame, and they would shoot cheesy photos to exhibit how succesful they are.
You can know what you are and what you can do. But never do that by seeking/believing the opinions of others about you; for some tend to reflect and perceive themselves upon others, and then try to reduce what they perceive on others.
What is arrogance and humility? Is to possess a good quality arrogant? For me it is to want others to not posses it; as well as to want to posses it all yourself. To seek to humiliate another is arrogance. To try to make some all-dominating-God out of a human body, would be. And to humiliate you is what such a person would seek. That would please him. A really messed up with that thing person would even want you to be sick or worse so as to get pleased, as he would feel threatened by anything you’d be and do. And if you played along, and wished to please him, out of sympathy, fear or anything else, sick you would become.
Is a beautiful woman arrogant? Should she hide her face so that others wont feel bad? Should she be ashamed or have acid thrown at her face? Would somebody who would rudely stick his nose into her business and judge her, be humble? I don’t think so.
But yes, that antagonism between women (or men) who is better than the other, is arrogance, as one tries to reduce the other.
And so it makes sense when arrogant people see arrogance in others, as part of reflecting themselves, and then seek to humiliate them. Actually, they perceive and seek to reduce their own arrogance.
It isn’t my business to judge what another does with himself, leave alone to feel annoyed about it. And if I really wish to help, I will help him in accordance his own will, and not against it.