We, or some of us, or most of us tend to try to avoid criticism from others. We can get pretty upset by such a thing. One only needs to read something negative that is not even addressed directly to him, to freak out, if he thinks that it makes him wrong. And if such a condition exists, odds are that he will limit his choices about it afterwards. He can either fight it, try to avoid it, pretend to himself it’s alright, try to forget about it, submit to it, and maybe a few more kinds of reactions that I’m ommiting.
Actually, anything that triggers a reaction on our part is a form of control. And one can predict our reactions and act accordingly. And if he is good at it, he can then shape us into becoming what he wishes us to become like.
In such a case, oneself will have been dominated by a constructed, fake self that is composed of such reactions. And this is pretty much what constitues the so called ‘ego’, the way I see it.
Ego is not self appreciation, nor is arrogance. Ego and arrogance and humility alike are self-denial. An arrogant guy who tries to humiliate another, doesn’t act for himself, he acts against himself. The mere need he feels to reduce another in order to be, is self denial. One doesn’t need to do anything to anybody in order to be. To be is maybe the most simple, and effortless thing there can be.
The more one acts against himself, the more he acts against others. What he projects out, is what he does onto himself.
We tend to grant much importance and significance to what others do to us, but it doesn’t matter. All that matters is what one does to himself. All another could do to you would be to trigger a reaction on you and make you turn against yourself, and consequently against others too. Words have no value and no significance, but the value and significance that one grants to them.
Since our very early days of our lives we get conditioned into adapting to things exterior to ourselves. Actually we get flooded by such things potentially, starting from parents, friends, schools, friends, church, boyfriends/girlfriends… as long as one does not allow oneself to be oneself, that’s what he does. We seek to get love and agreement from sources outside ourselves, and we even communicate things we don’t mean to communicate, so as to get approval, or love or something. You understand that this thing pushed to an extreme can make one become something completely different than what he is. And that’s the only problem one can have about himself–that he is not being himself.
Naturally, without such a condition one simply doesn’t turn against himself. And what do you know, he also doesn’t need to do that to others, either.
And if one lets himself be, and he lets others be as well, what an easy and free life he can have.
It would be a gross mistake to doubt the way you view things, because that way is not alligned with some religion, science, your mother or other persons and groups. That could make that person or groups pat you happily on the back, but life wouldn’t do the same.
How convenient it is for a brainwasher to not even need to to brainwash somebody on a daily basis, so as to keep him under control. He just teaches him to do it to himself.
Brainwashing is not handled by sitting to analyze how wrong you are, due to past experiences. On the contrary, that would be self-brainwashing itself. It would be self-invalidation. Nor will that make one become less of a sinner.
Just quit making yourself wrong, doubting yourself, invalidating yourself, by any means–how you view things, what you want, what you like, what you agree with. And you will no longer need to do that to others, either. Let yourself be, and you will let others be too. It’s that easy and simple.