Mental stability?

Yesterday I was having a casual talk with somebody, but through e-mails, like in wordpress. It takes a while for them to be read and answered. So, I sent  a long message yesterday, and received a reply today.

In the meanwhile, I had a wonderful out of body, out of everything experience. And it was wonderful. My awareness about things changes quite a bit when I do that. I no longer think of problems, not because I stop myself from thinking about them, but because I don’t truly feel that any of them really existed, but in my human thinking.

So today, after all that, I logged in and read the reply to my e-mail. And dammit, I couldn’t understand a thing.  What was she talking about? I also read the e-mail I had sent her before, and I didn’t understand what I was saying, either. It seemed to me as if I was hypnotised or something while writting the first e-mail, and I had gotten an analogous answer.

And what do you know, in order to understand the whole conversation again, and be able to write a proper answer, I had to drag myself down to being body again, and down to employing more or less the same thoughts that I was employing when I had written that e-mail.

So, you can say, that in a way, I went back to ‘normal’. The problem is I no longer want to be normal. I love my ‘abnormal’. I love not being hypnotised. I love being myself. And that ‘normal’ doesn’t seem like normal to me, either. And it feels much worse too.

From that spirit perspective, I know I don’t have any problems. Not only that, but I know I never reall had nor will I ever get any. But then I don’t have anything to talk about, with people who think they have.



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