You know, I’m not one to write about pop psychology matters, as I think that the solution for all of those is the same. And because I don’t make any analysis about them, doesn’t mean I couldn’t. And I also think the less ideas one has about them, the better it could be, for those ideas (problems) are simply not true. If you know the truth about something (or don’t believe the lies) there is no problem, simply put.
However, I think it could be of use to some people to refer to a lie concerning confidence, for the purpose of discarding it.
You need to understand a condition called reflection. It simply means to perceive what is inside on the outside. At some point one thinks something about himself -probably due to something wrong he has done-, and then he doesn’t want that known, and so he hides it. And from that point on he perceives it outside himself.
And you’re not going to have people come and make nasty remarks about you, unless at some point or another they have thought that about themselves. And the way one loses confidense is by believing such remarks or other implications.
It is very typical for people who are very low in terms of ethics to accuse and prosecute and seek to punish others. The same stands for aesthetics, as well as anything else. A capable artist is much more likely to admire -or even just let be0 a work of art than another who couldn’t even imagine himself doing it.
Simply put, nobody would be interested in reducing another (what he’d try to reduce, would be his own self), unless he had f*cked up himself, and unless he was still concerned (even if he hid that too, from himself) about it. And this can be very thoroughly concealed. And some spend half their lifetimes trying to hide what they have been, even from themselves, and might even appear to be the exact opposite.
Arrogance is an effort to build confidence and pride for oneself by reducing others. But it is not confidense itself, nor does it lead there. So, if you want your confidence back, you don’t need to ‘rebuild’ it. You only need to let go of such lies. Confidence is natural and it is not ‘gained’, the opposite is.
A system which requires from you to adapt, to gain the approval of others, will not lead you there, either. Actually, that is how the worst get to ‘rise’ above the rest, by reducing them. The rest simply wouldn’t bother to do that. So do yourself a favor and instead of trying to figure out what’s wrong with you, by using thoughts that you have received from your environment, and thus putting them in effect, realize that nothing is; but making yourself and others wrong, creates the concept of something being wrong by itself. The solution is the problem.