You have just bought a nice, new jacket, you like it, and somebody comes along and looks rather displeased at it; he points out that it is a bit too short here, too long there, a bit old fashioned and so on. And you no longer like it like you used to.
No matter how many times this might have occured to you, it isn’t ‘natural’ at all to happen.
It seem that you have somehow adopted that other guy’s viewpoint. But why would that happen, anyway?
The answer is you were seeking it to happen. It isn’t that you were just looking for approval, and so when you didn’t get it, you acted accordingly, which would be a mistake by itself. One can adopt the viewpoint as well as the problems of another in an effort to deal with them, for that other. And that’s how the gravely wounded ones can become kings. He’ll be made a king by those who will wish to make up what they’ve done to him.
Nobody really has command over another, and no viewpoint is inherently wrong. But if you keep not allowing another viewpoint to view, another being to be, you might want to try to handle that condition for him/her, later on; which means you’ll become the victim of your deed. That’s where that ‘what goes around comes around’ comes from.
And them who seem to be in a permanent condition of not allowing things to be free, have long gone through that, and they are pretty much victimised by that, to such a degree that they frantically try to gain some control (they don’t really have any) and to save others from sins of their own. And they are only allowed to do that by others who play along the same game with them.
So, you walk on the street wearing some funny hat and you feel rather uncomfortable that others will laugh at you, and you think it’s pretty logical, since your hat is funny, right? Nope. If you haven’t ever made fun or otherwise criticised anyone’s appearance, if you haven’t adopted another’s viewpoint who had been made fun of due to his/her appearance, or something of that sort, you wont even think this will happen, and it wont. Those people on the street could even think you’re so cool, you don’t even care how funny that hat looks. And you wont need to seek their approval either.
All the above are potential phenomena, and they don’t have to occur. They can occur for as long and as much one plays those games, whether he hides that from himself or not. It isn’t true that one is a victim of others, nor of his own past deeds. But it’s a sequence of thinking, of cause and effect that can potentialy occur.
And one might want to remind you of that line of thinking in an effort to control you, in which case he would want to make you feel guilty, so that you’ll become a victim. Like when one eyes another in a strange way, like that other has done something wrong, to pull him down and control him.
This is not what I’m trying to do now myself, by pointing out that phenomena. So, I’m also telling you that you have full control over it, right now. If one was to receive all he has done, we could get in some bad shape rather quickly. One needs to bring up and use that line of thinking so that it can occur. He also needs to hide from himself that he is doing it himself (like in the case that you think it happens by itself, or that another does it).
My point was, and I wanted to stress again the importance of allowing others their self determination, as their own is your own too, as well as to point out that victim is not true. And since victim is not true, perpetrator as well as observer of those, is not true either.