Making things happen

It can be very destructive to confuse responsibility with being guilty.

To be responsible for something means be aware that you control it or make it happen. If that equaled to guilts, you see that would also mean that to make anything happen would equal to guilts. So then nobody would want to make anything happen, but rather expect from others to do something to them. Moreover, if somebody made something happen, he would refuse it to dodge being guilty for it.

I often assign responsibility to each one of us for things we experience. And although some might take it as blame, there is no blame intended. Actually, I would only point out to somebody that he makes something happen, to help, not to blame.

The purpose is to know what we make happen; because otherwise, if we don’t know it, we don’t control it. We see it as something that happens outisde of us, and we either compromise with it, or oppose it. But that’s not the way to resolve things, nor to create new conditions.

The more you yourself make things happen and know it, the less appetite you will have to blame others or to feel victimized by them. That is responsibility; and it is not irrelevant to being free.

I don’t know how far our capacity to make things happen goes. But it’s quite common to go far far beyond what each one of us thinks. We usually belittle ourselves, reduce our knowledge of that capacity; and blame is just that; It’s ‘I didn’t make it happen, you did.’ Even if you won at blaming another, even if you managed to condemn him, you’d lose much more in the longer run. It often -if not always happens- that the ‘prosecutor’ has done much worse things than the one he prosecutes, and he is now unwilling to make anything happen, and tries to destroy other’s capacity to make things happen too. You know those serial prosecutors…Don’t buy that.

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