This could be supplementary to my previous post.
I have seen the destructive quality of inviting somebody to be there and to communicate, and then judging him/her for doing so. To have assigned to him guilts, shame, regret or other sorts of faults and problems for his daring to do so. That is betrayal. It si not meant to help anybody. It is as if you invited somebody to come over, and once he arrived you bashed his head in and sent him back home, and then you showed the video you had shot to others, and laughed about the whole thing. And that particularly done to a person who has been betrayed before, and that you now offer your help to him, is some gross betrayal, and it leads to strange attitudes from that point on; like pretending to always be ‘perfect’ by the standards of those others who have betrayed you, so they wont do it again. It’s some ugly way to control somebody, and it certainly doesn’t lead to any genuine being and communicating.
I don’t judge my friends and also the judgement of others has no effect on me. I don’t recognize the good intentions behind such a thing, no matter what they’re supposed to be.
No matter the disagreements I could have over a topic (I can have plenty), I always let one agree or not, and always BE what he is first. That is a condition I put in order to talk with somebody I would consider a friend.