This is an important post. Although I normally don’t feel like it, I’ll try to articulate it well, or at least better than the others.
Has it ever occurred to you to be with a person or persons, not being sure what is expected from you, or what to expect from them, and find yourself always being, doing something wrong as per their perspective?
I’m sure it has occurred to most of you, if not all. There is a trick in making somebody a slave, and that trick is to hide the rules of the game he is in.
Before I write more, I should explain that I don’t mean anything necessarily dishonest by saying ‘games’. I consider life to be full of games. Whenever there is an intention, a goal, something to reach, that is a game. It is a game as it is not immediately reached, otherwise there would be no game. You can say a game is the process of reaching a goal.
All games have rules. No rules=no game. If no rules then total freedom, then no game. There is nothing to reach then, or it is already reached.
Not all persons live their lives by the same rules. And some don’t even know the rules they live their lives by, and they hardly play at all. But whatever games they play, they all abide to one basic rule in life, and that is to exist and not only as single persons. They all have to do it, somehow.
The guys who participate in those games could be called players. They are players because they know there is a game, they have a goal or more, and they also know the rules. But one can be in a game and not even know it. If somebody tried to trick you into something, and you were not aware of it (otherwise there could be no tricking), you would get played, you wouldn’t be a player. You would be an object. If you were in a job and you had no idea what to do therein, you would have to constantly be guided/commanded by another or others. Essentially them would do the job through you. They would be the players, you would be the object.
Not knowing thoroughly the rules of a game, makes one hungry for rules, so that he can play. And so, he can be controlled by exterior players. So in order to be in control of your life, you must know the games you’re involved in, and you must know the rules.
If you wanted to play the game of being normal, you would find something peculiar: The rules are not standard. What is normal here, is not normal there. What is normal for one, is not for another. In some countries it is normal for women and children to get beaten, in others that is definitely not normal. Normality is not defined by the universe, nor by God, it is defined by people, and it is defined very vaguely, so then there is no way to really know the rules, leave alone to really win in that game. One cannot be but an object, controlled by others in playing that game. The same is true for ‘being proper’, ‘being a good husband’ and many other things.
We think, that when two can say ‘we are a couple now’, they know what they’re talking about, but they don’t. As one wants romance and to fall in love, and the other wants somebody to spend some time with, and gather some experiences. They don’t play the same game. Unless they sit together and set goals and rules for the game they play, they will both be objects. If one doesn’t know what the other wants from him/her, he/she will be an object.
It is of crucial importance to know what games you play, and what the the very specific rules of that game are. You can mark that down, as it is a very important and useful tip.