As long as you think you need to do something about a problem, it means you don’t know the exact truth concerning a problem; and that isn’t different when it comes character traits that someone might deem negative and wish to change.
Before trying to solve some negative trait I would ask ‘did you consider that trait negative before another or others pointed out or implied that’s negative?’ or ‘is the trait you ‘have’ exactly like it been pointed out by another or others?’or ‘do you understand exactly what has been pointed out to you, or rather have some nebulous idea you’ve been trying to figure out?’ or ‘does it exist at all?’
Honestly, I have met some of the sweetest of beings who have some of the worst ideas about themselves. While on the contrary, others who get busy pointing out negative traits in others, aren’t that nice themselves.
Remember, one tends to assign to others what he assigns to himself (and also visa versa) whether he is aware of it or not. And nice folks, who want to be nice to others, also tend to have higher self-critique than others and consequently bash at themselves harder.
In many cases, if not all, one might find that there had been no problem in the first place –at least not his own problem.
And in any case, as long as one uses the thoughts of others to analyze with, as long as he tries to adapt to others frame of thinking, he will be falling into that trap.
All it takes is clear perception from ones own perspective to see what’s happening.
You understand such a perspective could many many out of work –those who tend to generalize, compare and classify people into ‘objective’ (from their perspective) rights and wrongs. But that’s alright. The good that would do would compensate for the money lost.