If you saw somebody on the street beating himself, while he complained he was in pain, you might as well want to point out to him that could stop doing it so he would no longer be in pain. And you could do the same to somebody who complained about his marriage or anything else. I mean if you don’t like something, be sure you don’t create it yourself before you complain about it, or be made aware that it is your own creation, so you wont have to create it anymore.
I would count that as help if it was done voluntarily by both, and if what was pointed out could become obvious to both. It would be of no good use to go around doing it to people without their consent, nor if what was pointed out was not the exact truth.
In case where consent is not asked for and what gets pointed out is a lie, or a half truth, exaggerated truth, and there is an appetite to assign wrongness, guilt, to punish, not to help (again, help is only voluntary) we have blame. And just like in the case of the guy who was beating himself and complained about it, we could point out to the accuser the obvious. Are you doing what you are accusing the other for right this moment? Are you using violence (in fact, frequently) to punish some momentarily violent guy? Are you lying about somebody to to accuse him of lying? Are you trying to buy a woman’s loyalty and trust while you accuse all women of prostitution? Are you arrogantly accusing another of arrogance, as if you had appointed yourself to pass judgement to others? Are you trying to treat the insane while you can’t even define to yourself with logical consistency and precision what sanity is?
The problem is the guy who accuses most probably isn’t going to get that. He wont volunteer to get that in the first place, and he will take it as blame. So I wont be doing it. There is no reason -however- for the accused one to be falsely accused either. Even if somebody is momentarily violent, it doesn’t mean he is ‘violent’ in general. If he participates in some chaotic discussion and acts accordingly, it doesn’t mean his thinking and speech is chaotic in general, although most likely those who permanently engage into such thinking and discussions will want to point out to him. It takes two to dance.
Always be sure to notice how the accuser is doing what he seeks to punish the other for, the moment he is doing it. Even to just have another feel ashamed of himself, to doubt himself, to stop being himself is punishment, and it is an offense by itself.
Accusations don’t really lead anywhere. One must be aware of his very own creations for change to occur –so he will quit compulsively doing what he is doing. Otherwise no help, and no good change occurs, but what gets accused for gets exaggerated and perpetuated instead. Why accuse the enemy because his jets killed your innocent child and show it to the world? What did you expect when you were roaring for war, get bombarded with flowers and confetti, or maybe to be allowed to kill those other bad guys because of reasons?
A God that gives free will to his created people and creates for them devils and the potential of sin, and then accuses them for doing it, cannot blame but himself. No God, don’t accuse nor punish your children, for it is you who is creating them. And if you think I am accusing God, you have grossly misinterpreted what I’ve been writing. This isn’t a game who is more guilty than whom. This is an attempted explanation how guilt can’t be but false. And I don’t believe God acts like that, as I don’t believe that God is a person separate from and against all the rest, in the first place. And those who don’t condemn each other, aren’t ‘children of the damned’, here to suffer.
There can be other forms of justice than to accuse and punish each other for misdeeds or alleged misdeeds. Damage done can be repaired, although in the presence of very high tolerance and love even that is not needed –in fact damage cannot occur without there being separation, in the first place. Nobody gets brokenhearted, hurt because of unconditional love. It is his own barriers in loving that do so.