It is an oddity that people who don’t control appear to be the most controlling and the most powerful of all.
You have a chair, you pick it up, place it elsewhere and you sit on it. You cook your lunch, eat it, wash the dishes. Although it is not common for such petty things to be called ‘control’, it is. And if somebody gave up all control for it is evil, he couldn’t even do that.
What is ‘evil’, what is upsetting about control and a reason why one could give up control is control that is not control; or in other words ‘tampering’.
What is ‘my business’ and what is ‘your business’? One can only control his own creations. If you can think of something you can also quit thinking it, for it your own. And that would be controlling that thought. If you could only think of something and you couldn’t quit thinking it, that would be incomplete control. And if you thought of something and another tried to convince you to think of something else instead, or to quit thinking it, that would be tampering.
Tampering is in fact an effort to reduce one’s control over his own creations. If you were a painter or something of that sort and somebody came over your head and criticized your work that would be tampering, and it wouldn’t be control. A painter could paint a painting from the beginning to the end, and he would completely control it, and it would be completely his own creation. But if I went there and told him he hadn’t painted the river ‘right’ (as if there was a ‘right’ way to paint rivers at all) I would be tampering with his creation. I would be trying to -even partially- claim ownership of his painting. Or like it is falsely said, I would be trying to ‘control’ him.
That is -in fact- impossible unless the creator himself gives up his own control and hands it over to the other. And that wouldn’t even mean that the other would even control it. Look at those houses that have been confiscated because somebody couldn’t pay his mortgage. Most are uninhabited and left there to wither. Apparently somebody thinks it’s ‘better’ to have homeless people than owners with debts.
How to regain control over your life? Don’t! For ‘regain’ means something already exists beyond your control and you try to control it. That is impossible. What you can do instead is to create and completely control your own creations in your life. If you do that, and if you similarly allow others to control themselves and their own creations you can get out from the confusion of ‘common ownership’ wherein one tries to tamper with the other’s creations instead of controlling his own, and in the end nobody controls nothing.