A condition wherein one’s motivation for avoiding or getting engaged into something is pain, loss and generally suffering.
The more the motivation is suffering or the avoidance of, the more somebody feels forced to be engaged into something. This can easily change to making the motivation what one actually likes, enjoys.
Example: I work so I wont starve. A little better could be: I work so I will make money. A little better could be: I’m working and I’m enjoying it. Do you notice the difference in terms of freedom?
Another example: I have to go out because others are having fun and I’m not. A little better could be: I’m going out to have some fun with others or even I don’t need to go out as I’m having fun anyway.
Another example: I’m so old I have to get married because nobody will like me. Better: I like you so much I don’t want to part with you or I want to marry you.
Of course, it has to be genuine.